A mite soppy

This post is for me. You can read it if you want but keep in mind it's primarily for my greieving process.

I wanted to write down all the things that my Dually said and did while he was alive so I won't forget.
I want to remember how he talked to everybody like they were his very best friends.  How he always talked to me and greeted me with so much love. That he gave butterfly kisses when he kissed me and that he liked to sniff and taste people and how he loved to lick toes.
He went nuts when I went to the front door because he knew that meant car  and when he was feeling well , he would race out the front door barking in sheer joy that we were going somewhere, anywhere.  He would jump up and race around the house when he heard me click my phone into my carrier or  run down the stairs in the morning when he heard me pull my pants on.

How he loved to play ready set go even when he could barely breathe.   That he would climb into my lap when we were alone and cuddle with me.  He followed me everywhere. He was my bathroom buddy  at shower time and he always stood on the top step of the cellar stairs when I would go down and on the way up I would always say hello handsome.

I told him I loved him a dozen times a day and he told me he loved me every minute of the day.
His place was behind the pellet stove when the other dogs were in the house and on the 5 th step when I was working upstairs on the computer. He slept by my bed every night for his 8.5 yrs.  He would come up to say good night and come up in the morning to kiss me hello.

He was always ready to work or play and hated to stay behind but allowed it..  If I was not taking him out he would grab a shoe or a toy and run out the doggie door and that shoe would end up under the porch.  The Porch still has a mess of toys and one of my shoes under there.  I couldn't bear to look at them this week.

In the travel trailer if I left him , he would have a screaming fit , grab a toy to pacify himself and jump on my bed. There was always something on my  bed that didnt' belong when I came home. Carrying something while he worked was soothing for him.  He won 5th place in Nationals ducks last year after he picked up a stick to work when the ducks were being a little frustrating to him.  He was such a good boy.   I am writing this but it's not helping.  I want to hear him and feel him and see him looking into my eyes or talking to me.  I want to see him running with the other dogs having fun.  This  does not feel good.   I may never read this post again.

Dually is gone

I can't tell you about it.  It's too painful. My Best Buddy and  constant shadow and companion.

Dually

He's resting on the stairs now, his favorite place.  He knows I can't leave the upstairs without walking over him and if I am downstairs he can see me anywhere in the room. He probably didn't sleep last night. He is having a great deal of trouble lying down. He is not comfortable. His heart is probably so enlarged it is putting pressure on his lungs or his organs when is is lying down. 

I would like to talk to a vet but it's Sunday.   I fear it's his time.  I know it's his time. But I have not prepared well. I have no hole dug and again it's Sunday and I don't think Tim will come over with the back hoe.  I can try and dig one with the tractor. It wont' be deep and it wont' be quick.  I wanted my vet Annie to come over and put him to sleep at home but I know she does not have the solution at home.  I already asked her.

If I say let's go to him, he jumps up and runs to the door, but thats about as far as he runs. He just can't do much anymore.  Not much of a life left.  I can still see the spark in his eyes sometimes but its' not there all the time and it's fading.  And I am out of hope.

cows

So  I texted Heidi to ask her if I could bring some cows back. She said sure anytime.  So I  hooked the trailer up and backed up to the area by the shed to contain the cows in case they were going to fight me about getting in the trailer.  I went out sans dog to try and cut out the 2 that I wanted. That wasn't working so I brought them all into the arena. The 2 that I wanted headed straight for the trailer so I followed them and pushed Kitty(cow) away and locked them into the small area and before I said Boo they loaded themselves.  Lucky me.   I closed up the trailer drove out to the street and texted Heidi and told her they were loaded and I was coming , at which point she tells me she won't be home for another 3 hrs.  Crap.  I drove out the driveway backed up and drove back up the driveway, turned the trailer around and unloaded them. There were tornado warnings for Ct so I decided I would wait until tomorrow because I need to get hay from them after I unload cows.

Then I started to clean out the tub/fountain.  What a lot of work that turned out to be, but it's done now and hopefully the gypsy moths are done crapping in it.

Dually is feeling so much better.  He is more alert and more active and his appetite is back.  Once they start going downhill slowly you dont' notice how dramatic the changes are.  If he gets that bad again I hope I recognize it.