Dually and I left at 730 this am to get his first ultrasound at my regular vets. I waited for him and afterward my vet suggested I take him to a cardiologist but we could not get an appt for a few days at best so we went to Tufts emergency dept. I got there at 10:30 and just got home at 5. Long day for a tired and stressed Dually dog. They did another ultrasound and I never did get to talk to the cardiolgist, but a senior resident took care of us. I think that is what she was.
Anyway the diagnosis is the same. Heart failure and he will not live long. They put him on meds and told me to keep him quiet. I countered with " WHat's the point if he's going to die anyway he might as well die doing something he loves.". Jan said I would " do the right thing" but damnit I don't know what the right thing is. This is really tearing me up inside. I can't save him but can I put down a dog that can still wag and smile and love me? When I go outside with him all I see is what he can no longer do, not what he can do. He wants to work and he wants to be with me and he is upset when he is denied those things. Is it fair to him?
When Ebony died, she was sick for a long time before I put her down. It killed me. I would race home from work to see if she was still alive. It's way easier to grieve a death and get over it than to drag it out for months or even years.
I'll wait and see how he does on the meds before I make any decisions. I wish I was a praying person. And I really wish Mom was here to talk to.
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